The Best App for Communicating with an Ex-Spouse
To the spouse with an ex-spouse
Do you have an ex-spouse and find keeping track of all the communication overwhelming? Have you ever agreed to something with your ex-spouse, only to have trouble locating that agreement? Did they text you, email your personal account, email your work account, or was it just a verbal conversation? Do you just find maintaining your custody calendar to be a mess? Have any of these situations happened to you?
To the step-parent
Are you tired of the emails, text and/or phone calls with the ex interrupting your quality time with your spouse? Are you annoyed by the time it takes your spouse to organize communications with their ex? You want your spouse to have a great relation with their child(ren), and you are fine with them having good communication with their ex for the sake of the kid(s). But do you find yourself only getting the time your spouse has left over at the end of a day?
The Solution
All families have challenges they have to navigate. And good communication is often the key to successfully navigating life’s normal challenges. However, for blended families, even when things are good, they are still more complex. Communication with an ex on issues related to kids is often an area where these complexities present themselves. A goal for good co-coparenting should be to minimize the opportunity for conflict. A co-parenting app might be just what your family needs.
What is a co-parenting app?
This tool is key to improving communication with the ex-spouse, which ultimately ends up having a positive impact on both your overall happiness and on your current marriage. We will provide you with some of the major benefits of using a co-parenting app, co-parenting app options, our personal perspectives on the app and how it impacts our marriage.
Benefits of Using a Co-Parenting App
All communication with your ex-spouse is consolidated onto a single platform
One shared calendar that documents parenting time & events for the kids
Track shared expenses and reimbursement requests
Journal feature allows you to record important thoughts
Check-ins allow you to verify that you were where you were supposed to be on-time (e.g. exchanges, appointments, events for the kids)
Store critical information so that both spouses can reference it i.e. doctor’s information, school information, clothing sizes, etc.
Note: Not all features will be available on all co-parenting apps.
Co-Parenting App Tools to Consider
Full Disclosure: Personally, we use Our Family Wizard (OFW), so we can only speak to our experience with that specific co-parenting app. Check out our strong endorsements below if you are wanting to learn more about this app and how it positively impacts our marriage and our time together on an ongoing basis.
Tim’s Perspective:
I have one app that contains everything I need for communicating with my ex-spouse. OFW really helps keep all communication organized and has helped us solve conflicts faster and with less confusion.
My favorite features include:
Shared Parenting Time Calendar
Expense Tracker
Message Board (Email)
Calendar – I love how if we make a change to our parenting time calendar or make a “switch” in our normal schedule, the trade/switch can be entered in the app and must be approved by both parties. Therefore, I can’t make a change to our parenting time without my ex approving it and vice versa. This calendar is a great way to document mutual agreement and helps simplify making changes to our schedule.
Shared Expenses – We can each enter in the boys’ expenses, approve them, and agree on the split of expenses. At the end of each month, we are able to see how much is owed and to whom. This helps reduce the amount of times we are having to transfer money back and forth for the kids’ expenses.
Private Email – This feature allows me to send private and secure emails so that all communication is now in one place. I no longer have to search my email or texts for information. All email is stored, is searchable and cannot be deleted.
Alexis’ Perspective
Not only is this app beneficial for a spouse that was previously married, it’s also amazing for us stepparents!
Co-parenting is a team effort that's made easier when everyone is working with the same information. This app simplifies our lives and helps limit communication to one app. I don’t have to worry about family dinner getting interrupted with a phone call or texts. Or seeing an email pop up on my husband’s personal email while I am working on the computer.
Of course, there are still certain situations where these other types of communication are necessary and appropriate, but most of the communication takes place in one centralized location via messaging in the OFW app. Tim is able to check the app when it’s convenient for him, and it doesn’t negatively impact our quality time together.
My favorite features include:
You can turn off notifications
There is a tone meter in the messaging tool. Yes, a tone meter!
You can give third-party access to the app for review of all communications
Turning off notifications – You do have the ability to turn off notifications as you do with other apps. This means if you are going out on a date night or on a trip where you want to unplug, you can turn off notifications and ensure you will not be interrupted!
Tone meter – Respectful communication should always be a top priority when communicating with your ex. I love this app because when you’re typing an email, it will monitor your tone and notify you if you are getting too spicy. Emotions can get the best of us at times, so this meter really helps ensure you are putting the kids first and communicating respectfully.
Third Party access – Ongoing court battles are unfortunately the reality of some divorced parents. I highly recommend this app to anyone with a high conflict ex and/or anyone that has to experience going to court because all communication is saved and can be seen by an attorney, mediator, family therapist, etc that you give access to. Also, as your children get older, you can add a Child Account to give them just the right amount of access to the family calendar and email system without putting them in the middle of adult conversations.
If you’re struggling with communication with an ex-spouse, this app may be helpful for you! It will lead to less conflict and more energy to focus on your marriage and your kids. Check it out here!
