Blended Couples Conference Recap & Action Items

We had such an amazing time at the 2nd Annual Blended Kingdom Families conference this past weekend in Southlake, Texas! Hearts were strengthened, prophetic words were given and marriages were restored. God did amazing things in our hearts and marriages that will bless generations to come. There were so many incredible takeaways from this conference, but we wanted to write out our top takeaways and provide just three action items that you can apply to your marriage right away!

If you are reading this and did not attend the conference, we HIGHLY recommend that you attend next year! Check their events page on their website to stay up to date on the conference details. You can also apply the simple action items listed below to help strengthen and transform your marriage.

Here are our 4 key takeaways from this conference

1) God walks with you through the hard seasons

Scott and Vanessa shared about the toughest spiritual battle they had ever faced. To read more about this battle that will bring tears to your eyes, check out the best blended family book written – Blended and Redeemed. Scott and Vanessa graciously reminded us that the God we serve is the God of the hills AND the valleys. He never promised to keep us out of the fire, but He did promise to walk through it with us, and we can still give thanks to God because “He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:57 NIV).

2) Focus on communication with your spouse

Pastor Jimmy Evans preached on communication. Sadly, 86% of divorced people say they have bad communication. So how do wives improve their communication with their husbands? And how do husbands improve communication with their wives? Pastor Jimmy said the best way to improve communication with your spouse is to ensure that you are meeting your spouses basic needs and to focus on implementing different types of communication, which we have outlined in the action items below. “The only way marriage works is to have two servants in love.” – Pastor Jimmy Evans

3) Blended family couples are re-leaders

Pastor Jon Chasteen spoke on the story of Zerubbabel rebuilding the second temple in the Bible. He brilliantly encouraged us to take this story, along with other stories in the Bible, and put ourselves in the story to personalize the story. The point is this, we can receive the same blessings that those in the Bible received because God's promises are for all Believers.

Zerubbabel was a re-leader. Zerubbabel was tasked with rebuilding the temple after it was destroyed the first time. Just like Zerubbabel, we are re-leaders in blended families. We are rebuilding a family that was broken and restoring the entire family unit.

Prophetic words spoken over Zerubbabel remind us that the glory of the present house will be far greater than the former house, so avoid the comparison trap!

4) Blended families are a beautiful picture of God’s redemption

“Our God is a redeeming God, and He loves to redeem our lives from the mess and madness we often find ourselves stuck in.” – Blended and Redeemed

‍Action Items:

1) Implement at least one of the following from Scott Martindale and Dr. Cassie Reid’s Q&A Session when they gave their best advice for blended families:

• Set your expectations low

• Honor the ex-spouse and your kids

• Pray out loud together

• Go to counseling proactively

‍2) Ensure you are meeting the basic needs of your spouse

4 Basic Needs of Women

• Security – a woman wants to know she is cared for by her husband

• Open and honest communication

• Soft nonsexual communication

• Initiator/leader – a woman needs to be led by her husband

‍4 Basic Needs of Men

• Respect

• Sex

• Friendship (not mothered)

• Domestic support – even if a wife works outside of the home, she has the ability to make a house feel like a home

“If you could meet your own needs, you wouldn’t have gotten married.” -Pastor Jimmy Evans

‍3) Implement the 3 types of communication Pastor Jimmy Evans mentioned

• Annual retreat – Vacation where you unplug and get out of town

• Daily delay – 20-30 minutes of time at home where you communicate with your spouse with no distractions i.e. technology, kids, etc.

• Daily intimacy – 5 minutes a day where you speak life into your spouse and compliment them. This will change your marriage!

Blended Kingdom Families is an amazing ministry that exists to break the cycle of divorce, equip marriages and unite blended families with the truth of God’s Word. Learn more about the ministry here!